Double Chocolate Olive Oil Muffins
The Yellow Butterfly
Well, hi again, after a few weeks of silence! I’m returning to this space after a big event that changed my life in the most unimaginable way. And no, I’m not talking about being 6 weeks in lockdown while eating my weight in cookies and watching whole TV series in a single day. I’m talking about my daughter departing this physical world and becoming a beautiful and shining angel that watches us from heaven. And since the only way we will be able to talk about this is over chocolate (Ok. Wine too, but I’m not drinking at the moment), I’m sharing the recipe for these moist, rich and super easy double chocolate muffins. But please, feel free to open your bottle and have one glass in my name. Or two.
Metamorphosis of Love
As you know, I started this blog inspired by my daughter. Because of her special needs I found myself cooking all her meals since she was a baby. I learned to love cooking and the nurturing and healing powers of clean and honest foods so much that I decided to share my new love to the world through this space. Needless to say, my daughter is EVERYTHING to me. And cooking, or creating the life we lived around here, and for her for that matter, was never a burden or sacrifice. It was the perfect life we always dreamed about. She filled my space, my time and my heart in ways that only a parent can understand. It is my heart outside my body.
The moment Mariana left this physical world I felt the ground splitting under me. I was falling, and in slow motion. I was not even stretching my arms in the hope of someone catching me. I just let myself go on that downfall in an ironic peaceful manner. I didn’t want anything to be done or to be spoken, not even the clock continuing its inevitable course. Because anything that happened from that moment on, would be an event occurring in a world without her. It would be a second lived without her touch; a minute lived without her smile. Everything would become real and I couldn't bear the idea of that. So I became numb. Extremely numb. I didn’t even cry, which is probably the strangest thing in a situation like this. The first time I cried was maybe an hour after the event. And my first sobbing episode was one whole day after, when fixing us some breakfast felt like the weirdest thing because I always made her breakfast before making ours. Trust me, I was (and probably still am) so numb.
But that numbness allowed God and Mariana to put some strength in me to help others cope. I heard myself consoling and comforting my mother, family and friends without any idea from where the heck the words were coming from. I talked about how she is in a much better place now, free of any limitations and caressing us with her energy and love. About it being her time to go to heaven with God and how blessed we were to have her around for so many years, challenging all doctor’s prognosis. It was almost like my lips were moving without my permission, and something so much bigger than me was taking over. I was (and probably still am) living in a parallel universe. Because in reality my heart was filled with a feeling of not belonging to the world as I used to know it. Surreal was the word of the moment. In reality, nothing made sense in my mind.
We returned to our lives, whatever that meant, right? I started to have this terrible anxiety that triggered at night. An anxiety that would not let me fall asleep until after 3 or 4 am. That went on for a couple of weeks until I understood what was happening. Every time light transformed into dark, I realized another day went by without her. Another day that I couldn’t stop time. Another day that nothing miraculously changed, making our new status permanent. Another day that reminded me that this was very real.
One night of the many days where hours passed me by, I started to do some research on ways to cope with my new reality. Lots of beautiful words came up on my screen. But there was this article with such a beautiful sentiment that caught my attention. It talked about how you need to learn to have a new relationship with your kid. And how important it’s for you as a parent to evolve in the same way your kid is evolving. But it was one of the last sentences that got engraved in my heart. It said “honor your child by healing”. So I knew. It was time to start a new kind of relationship. It was time to live through and for Mariana in my present life, just in a different way that I was used to. I’m still a mama bear, you know. It’s still my responsibility to make sure her new way of being is still as happy and joyful as I did during her physical existence. So for her, it was time.
After shifting into a more peaceful healing mode, we have learned to understand how to feel and understand Mariana. She’s been manifesting not only to us but also to all of the family as a yellow butterfly. And this is not surprising at all! Mariana’s favorite color is yellow. And she loves butterflies so much. Most of her eating bowls, mugs, room accessories and girly stuff have a butterfly on it. She even took care of a monarch caterpillar once and watched the whole process until it morphed into a beautiful and bright butterfly. The same way we are now, as a family, morphing into a new kind of relationship fueled by hope, joy, but mostly, an immense love that (not) surprisingly is still growing stronger than ever.
From now on that yellow butterfly will be my state of mind. I want to live through the traits that characterize Mariana: kindness (so much kindness), happiness, empathy and love (so much love). If you caught my last Instagram post, you probably remember me inviting you to keep Mariana alive and making her a verb by living throughout those same traits, very much needed during these uncertain times. It was only because our love for her that we did everything on our hands to make her life as fulfilled and happy as possible, stretching the doctor’s odds for 17 years. And it’s only because our love for her that we will overcome this challenging time too. Because I miss her A LOT, but I LOVE HER MORE. And love always conquers. Always follow the lead of love and beautiful things will land into your window. I promise.
Another act of love that helped us? The unconditional love and support of our family, carrying us through this thorny road. The love from our friends, who have been listening to all our sorrows and fears. And you know who else? YOU. All your beautiful comments and direct messages checking up on me have been pivotal in this process. Each and every word has brought something to my heart and, when all were put together, they have alleviated my sadness a great deal. That’s the reason for this lengthy post. I felt you deserved to know what has been going on and where I am right now. I have to confess, I thought of leaving the blog behind. Since it started because of Mariana, it didn’t make sense to keep it on, right? But it was you that made me see that precisely because of that, I needed to keep it on, as it’s the perfect way to keep her alive in the minds of all. And for for that, I will be forever thankful!
Now, back to the double chocolate muffins
There are are so many things that I want to do on the blog. But for now, I needed something simple and comforting for my soul. And nothing cures the soul like chocolate, amirite?! This is the perfect recipe for when you want an easy and quick but still indulgent breakfast. The olive oil gives such a nice floral note to them, but I promise, no weird olive oil taste at all. You will love them and will have them on repeat!
Recipe notes
Since I know most of us all are locked down, I made this recipe thinking of possible substitutions. For the milk you may use coconut (that’s what I used) or whole milk. I don't particularly love the textures of cakes made with almond milk but id you typically use it you may use here as well. Also with the vinegar component, you may use apple cider or white vinegar (I used apple cider). And use whatever butter you have in hand, regular or unsalted.
If you don't have dark brown sugar, just substitute its amount with the sugar you are using.
The olive oil along with the chocolate are the main stars of this recipe. But you may use a mix of vegetable oil with the melted butter or use all melted butter (the crumb could be a little on the dry side) or all vegetable oil. I don't recommend using all olive oil because the taste can be overpowering. But hey, if you feel like experimenting, go for it!
I made a cocoa streusel to top some of the muffins. I mixed half cup of brown sugar with 5 tablespoons of softened butter and a few tablespoons of cocoa powder and placed on top of some muffins right before baking.
They will be good for a couple of days. Better if you store any remaining muffins in an airtight container or plastic bag on the fridge and reheat in the microwave or at a countertop oven at 325°.
Double Chocolate Olive Oil Muffins
Ingredients
◯ Whole milk (you may use coconut milk) – ½ cup
◯ White or apple cider vinegar – 2 TBS
◯ Semi-sweet or bittersweet (60% chocolate) chocolate chips – 1 cup
◯ Unbleached all-purpose flour – 1 ¼ cup
◯ Unsweetened cocoa powder – ½ cup
◯ Baking powder – 2 Tsp
◯ Fine sea salt – ½ Tsp
◯ Unsalted butter (see notes) – 4 TBSP
◯ Extra virgin olive oil – ¼ cup +1 TBSP
◯ Large egg – 1
◯ Pure vanilla extract – 1 to 2 Tsp
◯ Instant coffee granules – 1 Tsp
◯ Raw or natural sugar (the one with small granules) – ½ cup + 2 TBSP
◯ Dark brown sugar (see notes) – ¼ cup
◯ 2 TBSP of very hot water for mixing
Details
Yield:
12 muffins
Total time:
35 to 40 minutes
Active time:
15 to 20 minutes
Equipment:
cupcake pan, hand whisk, large and medium glass or ceramic bowl, liquid measuring cup
Steps
To make the double chocolate olive oil muffins:
Preheat oven to 375°. Line or grease a cupcake or muffin pan.
In a measuring cup mix milk with vinegar.
Put chocolate chips in another bowl and set aside.
In a large bowl mix flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt with a hand whisk for 20 seconds to make sure baking powder is mixed thru. Take 1 tablespoon of this mixture and mix it with the chocolate chips
In medium bowl melt the butter in the microwave. Mix the extra virgin olive oil. Whisk in the egg. Add the vanilla, instant coffee granules and sugars and mix once more, until sugars have slightly dissolved.
Make a well in the center of the flour mixture bowl and pour the wet ingredients mixture in the center. Using a wooden spoon start to gently incorporate the flour into the liquid. After you have incorporated a good amount of the flour start to gently beat towards the walls of the bowl to break big lumps of flour. Small lumps of flour are ok. Add the two tablespoon of hot water and incorporate.
Add the chocolate chips and fold in the batter.
Fill each spot of your prepared pan ¾ to the top. Place pan in oven and bake for 15 to 17 minutes, until they seem set and a toothpick comes out clean of batter after inserted through the center of the muffin. Melted chocolate on the toothpick is ok.
Let them cool for a few minutes before taking them out of the pan using a small spatula or knife to prevent burns. They will be good for up to a week in a cool dry environment. You may store them in the fridge as well and reheat them in the microwave or toaster oven before eating.
